Betty ford says i'm here all night
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize