if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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