Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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