just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize