Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize