mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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