So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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