Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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