and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize