I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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