The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize