i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize