I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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