hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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