she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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