How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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