You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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