$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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