ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize