I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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