He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize