The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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