so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
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Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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