PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize