1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize