I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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