so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize