Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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