Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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