I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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