Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im part way to drunk.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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