Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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