I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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