if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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