We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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