making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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