I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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