i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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