Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize