walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize