I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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