My brain says no but my pants say off.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So much Jack, so little girl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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