it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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