just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize