Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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