I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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