He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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