Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why are your pants in the freezer?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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