so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
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Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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