tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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